Marriages aren’t easy, and maybe you feel that yours is not in bad shape but could be better. It’s not at the point where you start to look for help to know how to save your marriage, and definitely not at the stage where you need to look for marriage counseling. Even though that isn’t the case, your relationship always can benefit from some change. Human beings tend to get bored from time to time, and when they get bored, they get cranky. In a marriage, this can translate into anger, stress and bring all sorts of problems.
If you are out of ideas to get out of the routine, here is some marriage advice for you. It will help you, maybe see your relationship in a different way and you will know how to improve yourself.
There are people that when they get into relationships, they tend to lose themselves. They put all the energy in the relationship and none on themselves. Of course, the relationship makes them happy as never before, but it comes to a time that it isn’t enough.
Being in a relationship is the ability to love someone else as much as you love yourself without losing the person that you are. Don’t let the relationship take away the person you are and keep doing the things that make you happy. In a marriage, this can be something difficult to accomplish because time is limited and you already have 3 thousand things to do, especially if you have kids.
It’s always important to take time to yourself even if it is just 10 minutes a day where you are alone doing something you genuinely enjoy. If you are happy with yourself, you will be able to take that joy to the marriage.
Agree To Disagree
In no relationship, especially marriage, you can do and say whatever you want without thinking about the other person. You are not married to a copy of yourself. You need to listen to your partner, to what he/she has to say. Every couple has points were they disagree. It can be little things or even major ones. As a couple, you need to respect the point of view of one another. Recognize that there are different points of view of the same subject and that one of them doesn’t need to be right.
Never Take Each Other For Granted
Many times, people hear stories about people living together that decided to get married and then got divorced sometime after. Usually, when people marry, their brain shifts and they begin to think (even if it is only unconsciously) that they don’t need to do anything else. They slack off and get lazy. It is when you start to take each other for granted. When it starts to happen, people don’t feel loved and wanted anymore.
What you need to do is simple: don’t stop doing the things that you did when you were dating. Send a text during the day; say thank you; complement each other; leave a note for your partner to read during the day; kiss; hold hands.
Have Date Night
Date nights are the best excuse for you to be together alone and give each other uninterrupted attention. It is a time for bonding, and you can do whatever you want. You don’t need just to have dinner. You can watch a movie, go hiking or simply take a walk.
When you do it, be sure to turn your phones off, so you have no distractions. Enjoy your time together as a couple and do new things every time.
Have Sex Night
Intimacy is a part of any marriage. Yes, there are marriages where people live without any kind of intimacy, but those are not the best examples for a good marriage. Intimacy is essential as it makes the couple bond both physically and emotionally.
You don’t need full making love sessions. Sometimes a failed lovemaking session is perfect for you to try new things and get new ideas of what you can do. The ideal is for you to try to do it at least once a week according to experts.
But don’t always keep the same. Talk about your fantasies and your needs, and spice things up a little bit every time.
Read More: Fix A Sexless Marriage
Talk Without Fear
You probably have heard sometimes that your partner should be your best friend and lover. It’s not wrong. Your souse is the one that knows everything about you and still loves you, precisely like best friends do. You need to be able to talk to each other with no fear of being judged. Talk about anything and everything. You will bond, get to know each other better and you will be able to find solutions to your problems faster. Communication has to be in the relationship at every single time.
Be Understanding And Compassionate
Not every day is a good day. Sometimes your partner gets home and starts talking and explaining what happened to you. It isn’t enough for you to just listen. Your partner wants to feel validated, understood and cared for by you. Always make an effort to hear and to understand what your partner is going through.
Say “I love you.”
It looks like it’s something that doesn’t need to be said. Of course, your spouse knows you love him/her but a little reminder now and then it’s good to keep the magic alive.
Have A Financial Plan
Money is the number one source of stress for many couples. Nearly 40% of married people admitted they lied about purchases to their spouse. You need to discuss financial ground rules preferably before tying the knot.
Not everyone has the same philosophy when it comes to spending money. Some people have no problem to spend it, other ones are attached to it like it’s part of them. “It’s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money, ” says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “But financial issues are best to resolve early on. You want to decide who is going to pay the bills, how much discretionary spending is reasonable, and how you’re going to keep track of it all.”
Figure Out How Your Family Rules
Many people think that the way they were raised, and how their family works is the only way to go. Actually, there are many different family dynamics. It’s up to you and your partner to figure out the best way for your family to work. Look back at what your family did and adapt it to the present. You probably don’t agree on everything that was done. Talk to your spouse and find a way that works for both of you and you are happy about.
When in a relationship, everything you do for yourself can seem egoistic for you. Why are you putting all the effort on yourself when you show be putting all of your energy into the relationship? One thing that people usually don’t realize is that when you have peace of mind and take care of yourself, they will give those characteristics to the relationship. First, you have to do what makes you happy and then put effort into the relationship. Although, doing what you think it’s best for you, can bring disagreement with your partner. You always have to talk and communicate the best way to do it. Plus, since you are a couple, you can turn the “one man activity” in a “couple activity.”
Communicate daily to improve your marriage. Figure out every rule and make a way to agree on everything by compromising. You are two different people with different ideas. There will always be disagreements, but you have to be understanding. Work everything out as a couple. Be like teammates and always do your best.