1. How to know it’s time to break up
Knowing when to break up is like knowing when rain will come if the weather is sunny: you don’t know.
All that happens sometimes is only a feeling that you have in your gut that something is about to change. When talking about breakups, there may be some doubt coming from the inside, but without any reason that you can discern at that moment. That makes you think about your relationship and how you feel.
You begin to wonder: Is it? Should I put an end to this relationship?
Yes, probably it is. To help you figure out what is going on, I present you with some advice for you to know it’s time to break up.
2. You feel stuck or bored in the relationship
Every relationship is doomed when it comes to routine. You learn what you enjoy doing together and then do it every time you hang out. Yes, that is boring but is no reason to break up. You can talk to each and brainstorm ideas to do something different.
It’s time to break up indeed if all of the things you do together don’t satisfy you. You do tons of activities together, and you still feel disengaged from the relationship. That’s a sign of something wrong. The same goes if you catch yourself dreaming of what it would be if your partner weren’t around, and it starts to seem very appealing to you.
It means this relationship isn’t for you and you should break up to have the opportunity to find what or who is the best for you.
3. You always feel snippy around your partner
Even if you are a kind and happy person, there will still be some people that push your buttons for merely existing.
It’s time to break up when you start feeling irritated every time your partner opens its mouth to talk. For instance, your boyfriend/girlfriend begins to tell a stupid joke or a boring story, and in the first second, you want to cover your ears and tell them to shut up.
When stuff like this triggers you in good days, and you have no stress to deal with in work/school or any aspect of your life, you should consider having “the” talk with your partner.
4. You rarely want to have sex
Sex and passion are usually connected. Of course, sex may go away in a relationship, but that usually happens in a long-term relationship. Still, those people have sex once in a while, and that has nothing to do with lack of will.
If you start not to want to have sex just because, it’s a bad sign. The most common reason for that is: your partner repulses you. You don’t want to be touched in any way. Your partner repels you and even holding hands gets hard.
It is time to break up if all of this is happening and your partner is the last one you want to reach to for comfort.
5. You’d rather hang out with your friends than your partner
Of course that in a relationship, you need balance in everything. You hang out with your partner, you hang out with your friends, you hang out with your partner and your friends at the same time… all of it is important to the relationship.
Sometimes you may feel like you spend a ton of time with your boyfriend/girlfriend and it can be true. You love him/her so much that you don’t want to be with anyone else. Of course that after some time you start to feel like you need your friends. That’s completely normal.
The problems come up when you spend time with your friends, and after coming back to your partner, you would rather still be with your friends.
Plus, if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are apart for some time and you don’t miss him/her, it can mean a red flag.
Not missing that person and preferring to be with someone else can mean you no longer love your partner and you should break up.
6. You have been fighting more than usual
Fights come because of problems. If you start fighting more and more, it means more and more issues coming up.
Of course, all relationships have their issues, and it’s your job as a couple to solve them. You both have to talk about what is going on, compromise, change how you do things, change your point of view… whatever it takes to keep it on track.
You know there is something more significant when you start to fight then things get a little bit worked on and then you start another fight because of something else. It can mean you get picky and come up with issues that are the same since the beginning and that until then you could manage.
If you are both into the relationship and don’t want it to finish, you can get some help. If not, and there is a part of you that goes “Nah! It’s not worth the fight” it may be time to break up.
7. You keep hoping your partner will change
You love your partner more than anything in this world but, like everyone else, he/she is not perfect, and you see it. There are things that for now are ok but that you hope will change in the future. You think to yourself “Let’s see what I can say or do to help this change” and then you do it. If you don’t see the change right away, you wait a little bit longer, and then you wait and wait and wait. This change never comes.
At this point, you have to ask yourself if you can live like this for the rest of your life. If the answer is “No.”, you should break up.
8. Your needs always come last
Relationships are made of two people, and both of their needs are equally important. Of course, you love your partner, and you are always thinking about what you can do for him/her to be in the best way possible. That kind of thought has to go both ways. If your partner doesn’t think about you in that way, your needs will always come last.
In a relationship, you have to give as much as you take. If you feel you are not taking as much as you are giving, you should either try to solve the issue by talking to your partner or end it.
9. You don’t see a future together
When you love someone, usually you think about marriage, having kids… This thoughts always cross our mind when we are in love. But when getting into a relationship, things get complicated. You start to know that person better and what his/her wants for their life.
Sometimes you can love someone and realize that that person is not what you want for your future. You begin to think that you don’t want to be with a person like that for the rest of your life, and you see no possible future together.
But, the main reason for you to not see that future together is that you are just not in love anymore. In any case, you should break up and follow your path.
10. You met someone else
Usually meeting people is not a threat to your relationship. But sometimes, there are people you meet that put your life into perspective. You start to think about how it would be if you were with another person and when you realize, you have fallen out of love with your partner.
Even if you still love the person you are with, it will hurt him/her whatever you do when trying to keep a relationship while thinking about someone else.
11. You don’t know/don’t like who you are
When going into a relationship, people tend to change a little bit. It happens naturally, and usually, they don’t notice it.
For the course of the relationship, you can change even more because of your partner by trying to adapt to his/her world. The changes happen without you noticing, and it can get to a point when you wake up one morning, and you don’t know who you are, or you don’t like the person you became. If this is happening to you, it is time to do a pause on the relationship or even an end on it.
12. You don’t have meaningful conversations
The most important thing between two people is communication. The two of you have to be able to talk to each other with no fear.
Serious talks are needed as much as silly ones. You need to talk about the essential things in life, and both of you need to be open for that to happen. If there is a block in any of you, these kinds of talks won’t happen, and that is a sign for you to break up.
Creating a life together is something that has to be well thought of. There is no future if the couple can’t talk about it.
13. Your partner doesn’t make your life better
Love sometimes comes in crazy ways. It can be revealed towards anyone, and things like age, color, tastes, friends don’t matter. Love comes and stays with you.
When you start dating, every part of it looks magical, but then the actual colors are revealed. Things get serious, and your life begins to look like when you were single: the same happiness you had, the same problems, the same everything except now you have someone with you.
If your partner doesn’t bring joy to you, and you can’t count on him/her to talk to looking for the support he/she may not be the right one for you. When dating or after getting married, your life should get better and not stay the same or be worst.
14. You doubt everything
Doubts are the enemy. They make you question everything. “How?”, “when?”, “why?”, “what?” are the questions going through your mind. If you question this about your relationship, about your boyfriend/girlfriend, about yourself, there is something wrong that probably can’t be solved.
Ending the relationship is the best option you have. Don’t keep hurting yourself and your partner with doubts.
Of course, there are a million reasons to break up with someone the main one is having a state of mind that isn’t healthy. If the relationship you have is only temporarily in a rough patch, you should do everything in your power to keep it. Breaking up may not be the best solution, and it only can be used as the last resource.